a sustainable pace.

I think this has been my mantra lately, that I need to do what I do at a sustainable pace.  I feel like I came from a place where I was constantly running a marathon at a sprint of a pace and it was killing me and now that I'm in a new place I am finding that its not all our circumstances, it's also our choices that determine our pace.

This morning I was reading the blog of a fellow campus minister who was exploring this very idea.  And it is so resonating in my heart because just this morning as I was dragging myself out of bed and praying begging for the stamina to make it back there tonight, I realized that I was not running a sustainable pace for me.

I am a bad, bad runner.  I try, but I am slow ... did I mention I am slow ... and I don't have much perseverance, just some determination that the result (what is that exactly) is worth it!  That's been one of my big rocks here in my Augusta life ... to run the days I am there.  So, last Thursday night on my way home, I stopped at my favorite spot, the Greeneway for my run.  And it was a good run ... like I ran almost the entire 2.5 miles loop without walking and I was so excited.  And then, I saw a turtle crossing the path and just laughed to myself that perhaps it had lapped me.

I think everyone assumes that since I am here in Augusta and not at the monster that is UGA that I have all of this time on my hands and I am finding, instead, that I have much LESS.  I mean, how is that possible?  Hmmmm ... because I now live THREE lives.  THREE!!  I have my Augusta life Tues - Fri (or Sat or Sun) ... my Winder life where I sigh deeply as I pull into my driveway at my real house and where I reconnect with my friends ... and my Athens life where I keep ministry going at the nursing school (which is thriving - I mean we had almost 70 people there last Faith in Practice ... people were sitting in the floor - ahhh) and where I also try to meet up with the UGA students I discipled the last few weeks who just need a bit of my life.

So, what that REALLY means is that I sprint through my Athens days going from one conversation to another ... and then I sleep a little and sprint through my days in Augusta ... often working 12-14 hour days ... for 4 days straight ... and hope I have the right stuff in my car to go back to my Winder life to wash clothes, mow grass, take care of grown up stuff like renting my house and making dr appts ... and then I try to fit in seeing all the friends I can.  And I find that I am never just home.  I am never not running.  And I am exhausted.

So, I am pulling out my book of healthy practices and I am reorganizing some parts of my life.  I am scheduling a night at home every week.  I am calendaring a prayer day every month.  I am still gonna run 3-4 days a week (and hope I might get better at it) ... but they don't all have to be in Augusta.  And I am gonna have to relearn to say "no" sometimes to even good things ... because too much of a good thing is a bad thing!

I think this is part of learning to run with perseverance ... learning to pace ourselves from the starting line so we aren't laid out at mile 15!  I want to finish well ... and with God's help, the race set out for me!