good gifts

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.

Psalm 84:10-11

Do you go there?  Those fleeting thoughts that yes, maybe, just possibly, God might have forgotten you?  That He might not love you quite as much?  That He is saving the good stuff for someone else?

I know it's there ... and we don't like to own up to it.  But, ever since the garden, satan has been tempting us to believe somewhere deep inside that God is withholding something good from us.  We'd never stand up in Bible study and announce it.  We are much too proud for that.  But our actions and even our prayers betray that deep seated fear. 

I've been reading Mark Batterson's newest book, The Circle Maker and have been challenged in my prayer life in several ways.  I've been convicted of some lies that I've let creep into my thinking when it comes to prayer.  I've been guilty of not praying much bigger than I could see or pull off on my own.  I tend to ask God to bless what I can do rather than to do something only HE can do.  I have not been specific in my prayers, thinking, well, He's gonna do what He's gonna do, I'm just gonna remind him that I need some help here.  But dang ... that's not Biblical. 

Prayer actually moves God to action.  Think about Moses ... he took the peoples' complaints to God about being tired of plain old manna and wanting meat (if it'd been me, I think I wouldn't have bothered God with more complaining) ... and he gave them quail ... estimates are over a MILLION quail.  That's nuts!  Who saw that one coming??  Abraham asked God to save Lot.  Over and over, people asked and God acted.  Prayer also changes us.  It's like our radar goes on when we pray.  If I am wanting a new pair of Tom's ... and look at them online, thinking which ones I would like, pretty much, everywhere I turn around I am gonna see Tom's.  When we pray, we see God more and more around us, at work in us.  It helps us be more in tune with where He is. 

I've also realized that I don't pray very boldly.  And I don't pray very specifically.  Again, in a ridiculous way, I think we subconsciously think we are saving face for God when we kind of don't put the big stuff out there.  I mean, I have prayed and prayed that I would pass the Praxis ... but now that it's done and it didn't seem to go well, I'm thinking, oh well ... I can take it again ... rather than praying that the God who exists outside of time can still cause me to pass.  So, I'm asking Him for that again.  In the book, Mark uses an old Hebrew story to illustrate this idea of prayer circles.  Just this week, I sat down and circled some areas of my life in which I specifically and boldly are praying for God to act.  And in God's BIGNESS, I've already seen Him work in TWO ... in BIG and SPECIFIC ways. 

Yesterday, in my quiet time, I read the verses in Psalm 84 that I listed above and was reminded that God is not keeping the good stuff from me.  It may not be my timing, it may not be in the way I envisioned, but He is the giver of ALL good gifts in my life ... the Sonic Diet Coke beside me, the week ahead in Mexico, the rain that came last night, the provision and potential that I saw last week, the blooms of spring ...

... every GOOD and PERFECT comes from GOD  (James 1:17)