Running is Hard!!

I guess Skinny September is gonna bring a lot of whining.  Feel free to opt out til Fitober!!  :-)

I am just in the build up to a 5K part of my half marathon training and I am reminded of the things I know, oh so well, about myself ...  these include:

1. I HATE running.
2. I am BAD a running.
3. Running is hard and I think I might die.
4. I hate hard stuff.  It makes me want to quit.
5. I am not hard on myself at all .... i.e. I don't push myself when I run like I should.

Hmmmm ... that about sums it up.  Today I was supposed to run 1.5 mile without stopping.  The "old" runner-me was a run-walker so I completed all my miles but walking as much as running to keep about a 13 minute/mile pace.  And I was content with that.

This time, I am determined that I RUN the whole 13 miles ... and as crazy as it is, I am only training at a 12 min/mile pace ... but it feels so. much. harder.

I ran my 1.5 tonight before walking.  Not because I wanted to, but because I knew I needed to.  And I counted EVERY second down of the last 3 minutes.  It's not pretty people.

I wanted to quit.  I bargained with myself that a mile was far enough.  I decided the miles mattered more than the pace. 

Isn't that just life?  I don't like hard.  My kids are NUTS when we do labs (ok, they are nuts most of the time, anyway) ... so I think, I don't want to do labs.  They are too much work.  Teaching is too much work.  Maybe I should go back to nursing (as if that's not??)  Life is just an uphill battle sometimes.  It's actually rarely easy ... and there's not always satisfaction in knowing we did "hard stuff" ... but we do it.

Sometimes because it's right.  Sometimes because it's necessary.  Sometimes to make us stronger or better.  Sometimes to make someone else stronger or better.  Sometimes we just do. 

I am glad I climbed on the treadmill tonight (cause it IS still 100 stinkin' degrees here!).  I am glad I pushed myself.  It didn't matter so much today ... but maybe it will in two weeks when I run with Gini in the Chili's Queso 5K (sounds yummy doesn't it??) ... or in 6 months when I run 13.1 miles.  Or maybe it won't.  But for today, I met my goal.  And for today, that'll be good enough.