"Blessed is the influence of one true loving human soul on another."
- George Eliot
My friend, Marcy, had a birthday this week. And I have been thinking about her a LOT. Those memories have been so sweet and a lot of laughs as well. And her influence in my life, even sweeter.
I met Marcy at church when I was in junior high and she was in college. And from the get go, she was one of the most amazing people I'd ever known. And I think that even MORE as I've watched her life the last 20+ (WOW ... how'd that happen) years!
I was that ugly duckling kind of kid in a class full of swans ... I somehow never really fit into that group (until college became a blessed leveling field). I studied too much and lived at church ... but I had great friends, loved school AND church and life was good. I felt called to ministry when I was 15 and got to know Marcy about that time. Marcy dated and later married our youth intern, Keith and the impact of their lives on mine is too deep to measure. Marcy taught me what I know about discipleship with her steady, consistent influence in my life. There was a season where we met every week to study scripture and she held me accountable to have a quiet time and memorize scripture as well. I can still remember much of James 1 that we memorized together. She made me excited about knowing God and help serve as a catalyst in one of my biggest spiritual growth seasons. I read everything she read ... or recommended. Couldn't get enough of it. Marcy listened and gave wise advice. She included me in her life ... even as a newlywed and as kids came into her life.
I can remember going grocery shopping with her right along with laying at the pool laughing.
She was at my 16th birthday party (pretty sure that's not what all the cool newlyweds were doing!) and endured my foreer long HS graduation while she was seven months pregnant!
She spent some time teaching me how to cook and how to be a great mom and wife.
Dutchess, Kevin and I have much of our favorite growing up memories of hanging out with Keith and Marcy ... doing fireworks on 4th of July, eating lots of pizza (wasn't that a food group to Keith?), ummm, the dumpster?? and just hanging out, living life, learning ministry from two of the best at that. Dutchess and I had lots of laughs over the "welcome baby" and "happy birthday" signs we tried to stealthily hang prominently in their yard throughout the years. (Man, we were easily amused.)
My first ever flight was to hang out with she and Keith when they were working at a church in Beaumont. I don't remember all we did on that trip ... but I do remember getting introduced to Marble Slab!
I'm pretty sure I spent most of high school at their little house in the ghetto :0)
Marcy made curtains for my college dorm room and I threw her a shower when her first was born.
She and Keith moved to seminary when I started college but even then, in the midst of being a Mom to two preschoolers and a house parent to several girls, she still made time for phone dates with me and continued to be involved in my life. Looking at life from this side of the fence, I know now the sacrifices she made to invest so well and have no idea how she did it. She and Keith always made time to see me when they were able to come home to Arkansas for visits and I had a blast getting to play with Ryan and Beth (and eventually Aaron) when they were little. Pretty sure I promised Beth she could be the flower girl in my wedding (not so sure that will hold the same excitement now that Beth's 20 years old - Again, YIKES!).
Marcy and Keith moved back home to AR about the same time that I graduated from nursing school. I can remember my utter panic that I now had a nursing degree, but felt called to ministry and had no idea what I was supposed to do with my life. I also remember meeting them and the kids one afternoon at a park to figure all of that out. I'm not sure what they thought I was going to tell them but I do remember a HUGE look of relief as I reeled off all the reasons for my panic. And I remember them saying, "Just don't quit the job you just got. Your parents will kill us!" HA! They also said, "Keep doing what you're doing and God will show you what to do" ... I think they also mentioned that I'd probably marry a youth minister ... and well, that might be the ONLY thing they ever told me that wasn't solid ... or maybe that youth minister is just SLOW ... who knows! I LOVED having them back home in my life and enjoyed getting to serve alongside them at their new church. And it was in their living room in NLR that I started to grapple with the idea of going to seminary. Marcy was the first person I called when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer and there were plenty of days I remember standing in her kitchen, living room, or mini van in tears looking for comfort and wisdom for the hard parts of life.
I've watched Marcy live a life of grace. I've NEVER seen her raise her voice ... ever. I've never seen her lose her patience or her temper. I've never heard her say a negative word about anyone. I'm not saying that those things have never happened in her life ... but I am saying that they are rare. I HAVE seen Marcy give birth to seven children .... and watched her love and nurture them all the while homeschooling them and being Keith's partner in ministry at home as well as in the church. I've seen her mourn the baby she only got to hold for a few hours and walk on in faith in the God who let him come home ... just a little early. I've enjoyed listening to her worship in song ... and miss hearing that beautiful voice. I've watched her move (quite a few times ... although I now have her beat!) away from family and graciously submit to Keith's leadership in their home. I've seen her deal graciously with not so gracious people and watched her love faithfully many people in her path. She is one of the most gracious, beautiful women I've ever known ... from the inside out! She has spoken truth and grace into my life more times than I can count and truly has influenced who I am more than anyone outside of my family.
A few years ago I was trying to answer for someone the question of how I got to where I am and it hit me. Whether consciouly or subconsciously, as I made the decision about what to do in college and with my life, I wanted to be just like Marcy. I felt called to ministry and LOVED doing youth ministry. But I needed a major for college and much to my HS English teacher's dismay, I decided to go to Ouachita and I decided to major in nursing. Majoring in nursing brought me back to Little Rock to UAMS where Marcy had graduated as a nurse just a few years earlier. Before she had Ryan, Marcy also worked as a nurse in the NICU at UAMS. I saw that nursing gave Marcy the time to invest in me and be involved in ministry with Keith ... and somehow that seemed the right thing for me to do, too. So, I did ... and I followed in her footsteps, graduating from UAMS and going to work in the NICU at Children's Hospital after graduation. Probably to many people around me it was obvious ... but somehow it took me 10 more years to figure out just how deep Marcy's influence on my life had been. Like Marcy, my time as a fulltime nurse wasn't longlived. But it shaped who I am and what I do today. I can't imagine life without medical missions and my wonderful nursing girls. All because a nursing student saw something in me that was worth investing in and took the time to be my friend and my mentor.
I don't remember how long it's been since I've seen Marcy ... at least pre-Jenna (her youngest) and although we don't have those Saturday night phone dates ... I'm pretty sure we could pick right back up with life. I LOVE, LOVE seeing her do all of those things that I remember and I am grateful for all of God in her that she let pour from her life into mine. I am thankful for all of the lives God has allowed me to be a part of these last 20 years. I hope that I have made half of the impact that Marcy made on me. I still think she's an amazing woman and I'd still love to be Marcy when I grow up ... cannot think of anyone better! She has truly lived Paul's encouragement to ...
"Follow me as I follow Christ."
I Cor. 11:1
Thanks, Marcy, for who you are and for loving and investing in my life.
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