the past ...

The last couple of days in my journey through Genesis, I've been reminded about our relationship with the past. 

The first was the well known story of Lot's wife turning to salt as she looked back toward Sodom.  It's crazy how attached we can become even to a destructive life and how we will "look back" even for the comfort of somewhere that is known.  Again, I would say like most of the rest of us, I would leave and never look back if I was in such a sinful culture ... but we don't.  I don't walk out of movies (very often) or turn the radio or the TV ... I get caught in destructive (or at least time wasting habits) that I fall back into by "default."  As a side note, Abraham and Lot did a lot of "bargaining" with God over the city ... and then over where Lot and his family would flee to ... kind of gutsy in those circumstances.  And God saved Lot's family ... well, tried, his sons-in-law to be laughed and didn't come, his wife turned to salt and his daughters slept with Lot to get pregnant and keep the family line going.  Dare you to find reality TV that rivals this ...

The second thing that caught my eye about the past was in Genesis 20 where Abraham, who is now 100, and Sarah, who is now 90, come to Gerar and AGAIN ... Abraham had the bright idea to say that Sarah was his sister ... and again, it had the same disastrous consequences that the King took her for his wife until God cursed him and revealed in a dream that Sarah was married.  For the love ... we are such creatures who do not learn from our mistakes.  Again, I would say, "I would never repeat my own mistakes ..." And how many of us have bargained with God to get us out of a mess just to turn around and do whatever got us in that mess ... all over again???!!!  Certainly not me ... yeh.  right. 

Hmmmmm ... so the past.  Kind of have this love/hate relationship with it.  We tend to look too fondly on it, remembering WELL, only the good parts, romanticizing it a bit, if you will.  just today I was thinking, I wish I was 22 all over again and was just starting a career ... maybe I'd do this ... or this ... or this ... differently.  And I realize that I am doing exactly what I was dreaming of, praying for at 22 ... I just didn't know this is exactly what it'd look like. 

Other difficulty we have with the past is repeating its mistakes.  Big or small ... if we are not careful and intentional, we are doomed to repeat our mistakes!!!  When i get a new car, I am determined to keep it clean ... til I don't.  I put out new plants, determined to tend and water them ..  til I don't.  I loose weight I am determined to keep off ... til I don't.  I work out to be in shape for a race ... til I'm not.  I wish I had better news.  But, it takes some work to avoid making the same mistakes over and over.

Thankful for a patient friend who "fixes" the girly things I do and can't fix myself (like my garage door today) ... and grateful for a Father who looks on my life with grace for my romanticized view of my past and my propensity to get myself right back into the same old mess!