looking for the mojo ...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... somewhere in the last week, summer has packed its bag and headed out of town.  Unfortunately, as of yet, it has NOT taken its oppressive heat with it!  It's been a good summer, but it's been a busy summer!  Those sweet three weeks in May prior to Peru were, in retrospect, heavenly ... got some good time in with friends, went to the pool, slept, read ... had some mojo going.

Then there was Peru ... and the Peru "bug" ... and Kevin's visit ... and going home to AR ... and the 4th of July, followed by the IMB medical missions conference,  Whew ... then it was the middle of July and I got a little serious and a little scared about getting things done in the office for a week before I had a fabulous day of crafting with the Daniel girls and Gini on my way to pick up Shannon from the airport for our wonderfully relaxing weekend in Helen ... before heading to Florida for some beach therapy.  Last week I got really scared and really serious about school starting ... went to visit Gini in MS ... came back for marathon staff meeting, got ready for leadership retreat (almost) ... seeing Amy get hitched on Saturday, heading to leadership retreat on Sunday ... coming back Wednesday for dinner with Cassie ... and Dawgfest before Carrie and Taylor tie the knot NEXT weekend ... and classes start the next day.  For the love ...

Yep!  And somewhere in there, I think my mojo might have just taken a vaca as well ... not sure I blame it ... doubt I'd be wanting to come back to my life anytime soon, either!!!  SO, for all intents and purposes, this roller coaster is taking off on Sunday and won't stop til somewhere in December.  And in that, I want to be balanced, and healthy, and effective.  I want to invest well both in my ministry and in my "life" ... so, I'm trying to get back into running, counting points, being intentional to maintain friendships, wise in getting sleep, smart at my "work day," more consistent in blogging, a little more diligent at being disciplined, and positive and hopeful about all that's ahead ...

I was talking to a dear friend the other day ... we were way long overdo catching up ... it had been years, not months since we'd had a "real" conversation.  I remarked to her that I was doing what I had always dreamed of doing ... if you asked me in college or in seminary what my dream job would be, it would be discipling girls and doing missions (especially medical missions).  And you know what, those are two of the primary things I do ... those are the things I love MOST about what I do.  God has fulfilled that longing of my heart.  SOOOO, life should be a cake walk, right?  If I am living in the center of God's plan for my life, then everything else should just fall right into place, right???  I kind of thought so ... but now, I think I might be identifying a bit with Abraham and Sarah in saying ... well, not so much ...

I've been doing Beth Moore's Patriarch study lately and this week, she had this to say:

"We often think receiving what we've been guaranteed ought to be a cakewalk, but Scripture shows the opposite is more often true. The most profound things God promised were often fulfilled against the greatest odds and through the most difficult hardships. To God, faith is often the point - God does nothing cheaply. Perhaps the divine nature of a promise fulfilled guarantees its expense. We may receive a hundred unexpected things from God with delightful ease while the fulfillment of some of the things we believe He promised us proves virtually impossible. You see, the impossibility is what makes the fulfillment of the promise fall under the God category. God makes promises man simply can't keep."     B. Moore, Patriarchs

I know we've been down this road before ... but I don't feel "called" to be single ... the greatest desire (yet unfulfilled) of my heart is to be a wife and a mom!  I am still holding out hope that God is at work at fulfilling this promise (tomorrow would be nice!) ... and at this point, against the greatest odds and through the most difficult hardships.  I am thankful that "if it is to be ... it is NOT up to me ..."  and again, I struggle against the desperation some days of trying to make something happen in a Abraham and Sarah kind of scheme ... but alas, I am just not that good (thankfully for me!) 

This life I live is a God story ... the fulfillment of a God-sized promise and I wouldn't trade it ... but I am ready for Him to do another work ... and let me tell ya, you'll know it when He does ... cause I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be doing some mighty loud celebrating when He does.  Until then ... seeking to be faithful where He has me, to be content in all things (mostly) ... to dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture (Ps. 37) ... and to find my mojo for a new year of ministry ahead!