the green eyed monster ...

I've been reading Andy Stanley's book, Enemies of the Heart in which he deals with emotions that wreck our heart: guilt, anger, jealousy, and greed.  It's kind of funny how the things we think we struggle with least, really are the thingswe struggle with most??

I was surprised this morning as I found myself in the pages in front of me ... jealous!  What??!!  I mean, girls get a bad rap for jealousy ... and I'm sure the Real Housewives had had some real throwdowns over that ... but I just never thought myself much of a jealous person, until I really stopped to look at what jealousy is. 

Jealousy says I am mad at God because He hasn't given me what I want/deserve/need.  It's that age old lie Satan tries (and succeeds with way too much in my life) sneaking in to our thoughts that says, "God's witholding something good from you."  It's true.  Jealousy really doesn't have to do with the person we might consider ourself jealous of ... it has to do with the fact that our Creator has given them something that we think is lacking in our own lives.  ouch!!

So, I'm finding that I really am jealous ... not so much of stuff people have ... never have cared all that much about cars and houses and clothes and stuff ... but it's more that God gave THEM ... the perfect job, cute kids, a great husband, athletic ability (well, they can run faster than me - as half the world does), living close to family, etc., etc.  Well, you get it!  :-)  I discovered this morning that I am a little more peaved at God than I thought.

Andy looked at James 4:1-4 that says ...
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?  You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

That little green-eyed monster is at the root of a lot of bad behavior (and bad thinking!) in our lives ... and often we don't even realize it.  And it's not even aimed at the person who has what we want every time.  It's just coming out of the idea that we don't always get what we want! 

And the "fights and quarrels" in our lives often come from that desire in us to have our way (I know, I guess we don't outgrow that one) ... and to get what we want.  We desire, want, wish for, plead for ... but don't get it ... so we throw a fit, we get jealous, we act badly ...

So ... what do we do about it?  When that green-eyed monster creeps in there and we are ill with God for not giving us what we  (think we) want??  We go back to God ... and we ask.  We can't always get what we want ... but if we try sometimes, we find we get what we need. 

Gotta finish this chapter ... more coming ... gotta do some more reading and thinking!