friends.

My weakness is blogs.  Ok, I guess I should more accurately say, ONE of my weaknesses is blogs.  I LOVE them.  I find one because of a story or recipe or link ... and then they are like rabbits, they just multiply into more and more blogs.  My guilty pleasure is to curl up on the couch and scroll through my blog reader and get a new idea, hear a great story, or even be part of a life that is bigger than my own.  Gini and I were talking recently about her Dad's cancer when we both realized that a lot of how we felt/what we thought about cancer was coming from a blog that we both read (but don't know it's author in the least!).

Yesterday Ann Voskamp (as if you didn't already know I am obsessed with EVERYTHING she has to say) posted a heart-wrenching story about a friendship she lost to neglect.  We had just been talking at BCM lunch about how we lose our love relationship with God as we get too comfortable and neglect to do those things that drew us closer to Him.  The story hit me in the heart.

Now, I know there are friendships that are seasonal.  They are on teams, at work places, in classes with us and we part ways, thankful for that season.  But, there are some friendships that are forever.  The stories and life we've shared bind us in ways that can't/shouldn't be separated.

I've moved more than I ever intended and in each subsequent move have found the gift of new friendships.  They've never replaced older friends ... but they've been added to the collection, like flowers to a bouquet.  And they've each brought their own beauty and fragrance to my life.  But, as I've gotten older, I've realized that I am the kind of person I've complained about others being ... I give my most attention to those things right in front of my face while diligently professing that you make time for what's important to you!  And in the process, I have neglected some friends very dear to me ... by waiting far too long to return a phone call, by neglecting a birthday or special occasion, by failing to remember things important to them, by not being the one to initiate conversation whether by FB, email, snail mail, or phone. 

It shouldn't be this way!  Ann says:

Friendship is the only thing that will show up at our funerals.

And while I am not planning my funeral, I am reminded on a regular basis that the "things" that matter are not really things, they are the people who make our lives richer, who make our pains lighter, who laugh and celebrate and just share in every day with us.  No job, house work, TV show, errands are more important!  One of the things I love about my parents is their amazing group of friends.  There are about 9 couples who celebrate every birthday, who travel together, who circle the wagons when life gets tough.  These are the women who set up camp in Granddad's kitchen when he died.  They cleaned the house, one of their husbands mowed the grass ... they came, they saw, they did what needed to be done in such great love.

It's so easy to get caught up in life stuff that we miss out on the most important parts of it.  I got to enjoy an afternoon with a dear friend yesterday and found myself so refreshed and encouraged.  She lives here (where I spend half my life) and I hadn't even talked to her in a month.  There's no good excuse for that.  SO, we have plans to cook together next week.  Gotta put those big rocks in first!

Ann's story ended with this encouragement to be a better friend.  I am going to work at it ... cause you know what, anything worth having is worth working at.  I want the "things" I have to show for my life to be the people I've shared it with ... even if they are spread all over the world!  I hope this encourages and challenges you as much as it does me!  And thank you for being a friend who journeys with me!


4 Ways to be a Better Friend
1. People are the Priority:
What’s more of a priority than a person?
2. Live Maskless:
Bare your faults and the foibles and messy laundry room. The only way to see into another soul — is to be transparent yourself.
3. Speak Life:
Share freely of your feelings because this may just free us – of the prisons of protection we’ve bound ourselves in.
Only speak words that make souls stronger — and speak ill of no one and well of everyone.
4. Get together:
Put on the kettle. Set an extra plate at the table. Call her and ask her if she wants to go for walk. Write a letter. Pick up the phone.