“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
This is one of those days that I wish I was eloquent with my words. I don't seem to be able to adequately put on paper the thoughts in my heart. Maybe if I relate this week to Shauna Niequist, she can craft it into something stirring and beautiful. She seems to narrate my life much more eloquently than I!
I woke up this morning to three missed calls. It was kind of a heart-racing moment to think I had slept through my phone vibrating on my nightstand, not once but three times. And I panic to think what horrid new I had missed. Because who calls in the middle of the night. Not once, but three times.
I know that panicky pursuit. I've done it myself a few times. Dialed and redialed, hoping that in time they would hear it. I even remember having to drive to my parents' in the middle of the night when my grandfather needed to go to the hospital and their phone was off the hook. Late night news is always the worst.
I knew that Elissa had been robbed. I got a text telling me that much and asking me to pray. But I did not know the depth of that story and how her life had been changed. I had missed her calls from Kenya yesterday, having gone to bed early after emailing her for the rest of the story.
These are her words:
Everyone is okay. We really shouldn't be. It just all seems like a terrible dream...
They broke in in the middle of the night.
They came into my tent first. At first I thought it was the dogs just making noise like usual, but within ten seconds there were 6 men standing over my bed saying "We don't want to kill but we will if you don't give us the money." They had mainly crude weapons. They had stolen some crow bars from the storage unit up near the guard tower and they had a bunch of stick. One guy had a large knife that he kept shoving in my face asking, "Where is your gold?" "Where is the safe?" They took my laptop, Ally's laptop and any money we had in our bag. They took the phone that my mom had sent back with Paul in February but when I went to sleep the night before I couldn't find my actual phone and they thankfully missed that, thinking they had already found it. And, huge blessing, they completely missed my camera under the bed. I think they just didn't see it cause it was in my black camera case.
Anyways, they grabbed me out of bed, and then made me leave the tent as we moved on to the tent with two of the other girls. They cut open their tent in the same way, and shoved me inside. I told the girls to stay calm, we were being robbed. I didn't want anyone freaking out and getting hurt. I was trying to talk as loudly as they would let me because I knew the only other person with a phone that may hear was Sarah, our cook, so I was trying to buy us as much time as possible so she could make a call and get some help. So then we moved on to the last girls' tent and this time they wouldn't let me go inside. They sat me on the porch with the other girls and next to the guard that was tied up and I tried to talk to the girls to calm them down from there, but they told me if I kept talking they would kill me. They moved us all inside the tent and told us to lay down and sleep, so we all huddled on one bed together, praying. They left for a few minutes, I think trying to decide whether or not to go into Sarah's tent and then came back for me, asking me where my phone was (they wanted the money on my mobile bank account). I told them I didn't know, I couldn't find it last night but I thought it was in the car. They grabbed me and told me to take them to get it. We had to go into the kitchen to get the keys first. At this point, I was trying to stall as long as possible to give people time to get there, or at least to keep them distracted with things they could steal so that they wouldn't do something much worse to the girls. They were arguing a lot, trying to decide whether or not to steal the van and I think some of them realized that authorities were on there way. My phone wasn't in the car so I gave them my ipod, and they told me and Amanda (who told them she knew where the car keys were so I wouldn't have to go alone) to go back down the hill quickly. We walked straight back to the tent with the other girls. They cut the fence on the other side of the property and ran.
In the end, we are all okay. No one was touched, no one was hurt, and that in itself is a complete and total miracle. The Lord gave us the most beautiful sunrise after it was all over and I'm just trying to repeat that sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes with the morning. For now, just repeating He is Jehovah Rapha, He is good.
My heart is heavy for these young 20-something-year-old girls who walked away from American comforts to serve, Elissa, because God called her, wooing her heart towards Kenya before she ever set foot in the country. Check out that story here. And the World Race girls who raised money and set off on a year long adventure to worship and minister all over the world. Girls who were right where God wanted them. And still, scary, tragedy, right there.
We had a lock down drill at school today. It was our first. As I got 27 awkward sixteen year olds back to their seats, after hiding in the floor for what seemed like an hour, I talked about the fact that we practice for tragedy a lot at school. Tornado drills, fire drills and now lock down drills. But we practice to the point that it's just common place. We are not scared by much anymore. Especially not kids. They think they are invincible. Well, don't we all? We text and drive, thinking we're really in control. We watch tornadoes streak across a field, thinking it would never come close to our home. We speed, just a little, drive when we are too tired. We are careless with our words and leave someone in our wake. But, the reality is, we live in a world where bad things happen. Sometimes by accident, and sometimes because of evil. And we must be wise. And we must try to be safe. But when that's not enough, then we have to put our arms around each other and get through.
Well, there's no drill for this kind of real-life, in your face tragedy. Just as there was no drill for the explosion this week in West, TX or the bombing and ensuing manhunts in Boston. Yes, it's awesome that the hospital had trauma drills, but it didn't spare someone their limbs or their spouse or their child.
I got to talk to Elissa at lunch today. Such a blessing to hear her voice. Strength. Bravery. Exhaustion. Fear. Anger. Frustration. Gratefulness. All co mingled.
We talked about how she will wake up forever with those images. Over time they will probably lessen, but never really just go away. The DNA of her life was changed forever when six Kenyans decided to cut a hole in her tent and come into her room. And it breaks my heart that she knows that kind of fear. That she was robbed of more than her computer and ipod. She was robbed of peace. She was robbed of feeling safe in a place she had come to know as home.
And this morning as I prayed for those girls, I asked God to send his peace like a blanket over them as He did with His presence with the Israelites in the Wilderness. And tonight I am asking God to not allow Satan to bring them a spirit of fear, but to replace it with His love, peace and sound mind. In the midst of our goodbyes as the bell was ringing for me to go to class ... amid the I love you's and talk to you laters, "Be safe" came out of my mouth. Did I just say that to the girl who kept her cool while six armed men robbed her and her friends in a foreign country? Don't we all wish that for those we love?? Be safe. All the while, knowing, that God has promised to walk us through the fire, but never promised to make us safe. So, I am asking God to walk these girls through the sleeplessness, the nightmares and the fears. To protect and grow this ministry when many groups will want to pack up and call it off. That He will use what was intended for harm, for good. And that in light of a week of so much tragedy, that we will remember that He is always good. No matter how things look from our side of the fence. Safe? No. Good. Always.
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