the unknown.

³ Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
⁴ Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.

⁵ Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
⁶ He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

 ⁷ Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.

Psalm 37:3-7

 

My life has been thrown into a little upheaval.

 

It's not bad.  It's unexpected.  And uncertain.  And kind of exciting. 

 

There are new possibilities.  And I am wanted.  I am valued.  I have a new hope.

 

And I am remembering that knowing what to do is sometimes hardest when it's coming from a place of contentment.

 

And I am trying to remember that there's not one right path to following God that leads to the "wizard" while the others lead us into a long, winding path of getting off track.

 

There are many ways and places God can use and bless us.

 

Throughout my life, my go to verses have been Psalm 37.

 

Guess it's no coincidence that I wrote these words in my journal the morning the call came that could change my life.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

 

I once was faced, as I am today, with choosing between two very good options.

 

As I prayed and received some solicited ... and some unsolicited advice, I was reminded that when we are delighting ourselves in the Lord ... seeking Him, listening to Him, obeying Him ... then we can do what we want because His desires have become our desires.  Freedom!

 

It wasn't always so for me.  In college and the first few years after, I was obsessed with making sure I didn't miss God's plan ... something I saw as a very narrow, very specific target.  To me, it was something that if we were off by an inch, we'd miss it completely.

 

I was constantly afraid that it was just me ... not really God.  And I was pretty sure if it was something I wanted to do, that it surely couldn't be God will ... afterall, He'd only call me to do something that was hard.  His will would never be my desire.  My constant question was "is this God?"  or "is this me?"

 

How wrong I was.

 

It took me a long time to figure that out.

 

But how freeing it is.

 

God's will is not this narrow, easy to miss, hidden target that we're not really sure we want to hit.

 

It's the beauty of knowing that His will and our calling are obedience and faithfulness, not a place or a person or a position.  And it will look different in different seasons. 

 

And there is freedom in that.  There is not one magic, right path in obedience and faithfulness.  As a matter of fact, there are multiple good options that God can bless and use.  EEEkkkkk ...

 

That's scarier ... because it means I am not a puppet.  It means I have decisions to make.  It means there is not just one right thing.

 

But it's beautiful to know that I can not make a mistake that is bigger than God.

 

It means that I can follow my heart ... when my heart is His.

 

It means one decision won't sidetrack my life forever.

 

It means God can use different seasons in different ways.

 

It means that not only will God GIVE me the desires of my heart ... but as a matter of fact, my desires are His desires.  And I can trust those desires because there's not a me OR Him.  There's a me AND Him.  His desires have become mine.

 

Not sure what the next few days/weeks/months look like.  But I am dwelling and trusting and commiting to be faithful.