Overwhelming ...

Do you ever feel that way?  Not even in a bad way, just in a so many things I should do, so many things I shouldn't do ... so many good things to do ... where do you even start???  And that led to feeling a little overwhelmed.  Not drowning yet, but could, if I add one more thing to my "should" list for this month, I fear!

I tend to do that to myself this time of year.  It's a fresh start, a good time to do those new things ... and then life HITS (think that'll probably be mid this week - next week ... can feel it coming, just get ready for a semi-meltdown one day soon) and one by one those "new" things start to disappear.  Some of that is because I tend to be one whose eyes are bigger than their stomach ... so I get myself into more than I can sustain!  I am trying REALLY hard NOT to do that. 

There are just so many things I WANT to do differently, so many things I think would be good in my life.  But, help me out here, friends ... I'm no dummy, if I try to do them all, I'm gonna start failing at most of them.  These are the "good" things that have floated through my "I should/want to do this" list .... hmmmm .... just this morning during the sermon on time management (for crying out loud!!) ...

1. Daniel Fast ... 7 day, 21 day, modified, full ... I calculated in my head about 15 different ways I could or couldn't do that.  Then I wondered what my motive was ... to pray, to change things, to be healthier or just simply to lose weight ... ummmmmmm ... don't know.
2. Fasting from TV for a week, during the week every week, ????
3. Reading a book a week (not just the fun Callie and Karen't book club books)
4. Going to Haiti
5. Giving up Diet Coke, only having one a day ...
6. Memorizing Scripture - got in the habit, got out of the habit ... and on and on and on ...
7. ummmmm ... and did I mention Granddad's been in the hospital all week and Wendy and Callie are having babies and I want to be better at keeping in touch with the important people in my life and returning phone calls???  I STINK at that!!!

Ok, so you see here where I'm going ... none of those things are bad, actually they would all be good AND healthy AND important!!  But are any of them sustainable in this life I am living??  I can do better with all of them, but it feels very overwhelming!!!

So, I am going back to my new years goals ... checking in ... I wanted to choose things that were doable but also challenging!

Remember, those 4 were:
1. Gonna be healthy - running 4 days a week.
CHECK: Marathon's done.  Going to not run/walk more than 3 miles a day for a while.  I've done that twice since the marathon ... gonna do it again tomorrow!  I CAN do this!  And, I joined a Biggest Loser group on facebook with friends of friends from all over ... there's a $400+ pot ... whether I win or not, there's at least some motivation to get back to my goal weight and feel better about myself!  :0)  This was the first week.  Making changes.  Weigh in tomorrow ... we'll see how it goes.  Sustainable goal, though.  Let's just not talk about Diet Coke this week!!  :0)

2. Gonna live in community -
Had out first small group meeting tonight.  First time I've been in/led a group with women close to my age in a long time.  It went really well ... I think it's gonna be fun!  YIPPPEEE!!  Not gonna lie, got a little commit phobic this week when the small group meant I missed 24 at 7 pm (until Gavin told me it was a rerun!!) and I missed seeing Laura today while she was in town ... but it was good.

3. Gonna start my day with God.
This has been a BIG blessing ... even started my Saturday in the word.  That's a BIG thing for me ... I'm horrible at doing that on the weekends ... I tend to take day "off" too literally!!  I am LOVING my God time right now though!!  YAH!!

4. Gonna be intentional with relationships and investment.
I've had some fun dinners and a GREAT paint party!!  Hmmmmm .... what will my February sindig be??  Got a fun idea for a red and white cake that I am itching to make for Valentine's ... thanks for the idea, Laura (and your amazing rainbow cake)

Ok ... lots of amazing things I can do.  For right now, help hold me accountable to these 4.  Doesn't mean I won't work on the others, but not gonna set myself to be overwhelmed and give it all up.  Honestly, these next four weeks are probably among the most intense of BCM life (I know, I say this EVERY month!!): women's retreat, missions interviews, overflow conference, dinner theater, kick off events, new meeting schedule ...

Thanks for walking with me!  It's been a great start to this new year! 

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.  

(Phil 3:12-14, Msg)