why do we ever doubt?

We made the decision this week to transfer Granddad from the LTAC to hospice.  He was sleeping most hours of the day and no longer showing signs of improvement.  His respiratory status was declining and it no longer seemed feasible to keep "preparing" for him to go home to that house on Carroll Circle.

Last night Mom worked with the hospice caseworker to prepare for his transfer.  And after several tough conversations about what that would mean, we received word that he would transfer today.  We were at peace and on the same page, and praying for comfort and speed. 

Shortly after noon today, Granddad made the transfer to a homey hospice center in Little Rock.  Within an hour of settling him into his new bed (with a quilt) and into his new room that looked more like home, his breathing got a little labored, he got a little med, and he breathed his last breath, really waking up from the transfer in heaven, not in hospice.

We are thankful for so much.  He do not grieve as those who have no HOPE, for we know where He is and we are thankful for no more struggle.  Mom even said, I think he's having lemon pie with Memama and telling her how they had not let him eat this week ... still don't understand all there is of Heaven, but I know it is in the presense of the Lord and I know there are no more tears, struggles or pain.  And that's enough.

My blessing list grew exponentially today as I realized all of God's sweet gifts:
451. I am NOT in Zambia.  Today is the ONLY day of the Zambia trip that the team will not be returning to the mission house ... thus, it would have been an extra 24 hours before I even found out.
452. I got to walk and talk with my sweet Mom through the decisions of the last week ... via many phone convos each day
453. I had a late afternoon coffee date with Hannah and Stephanie who had just asked about my sweet Granddad ... and were there to cry and pray with me when I first heard the news.  What a blessing my sweet Daniel girls are!
454. One of Mom and Dad's friends took off work today at noon to mow grass at Granddad's and at Mom and Dad's ... because it was going to rain this weekend.  One less worry ...
455. I had that sweet week of telling stories and saying "I love you"s
456. My mail is stopped, my paper is stopped ...
457. Most people don't even know I am not in Zambia.
458. God has given me a family of friends who have prayed and texted and called and emailed ...
459. Granddad never was in pain
460. We have the sweet hope of Heaven and nothing to fear in death.