overwhelmed ...

Today I was thinking to myself.  This is not a horrible first week of school.  I am actually doing pretty good.  I RAN every day ... and am on track with my 1/2 marathon training (that I unwisely started the first week of school). I am eating healthy.  I know what I am doing tomorrow in class.   I didn't yell at my kids (although I pulled out my teacher voice today!)  I've gotten up every morning and spent time with God ... and even turned my radio off of country and back onto Christian music in preparation for my little darlin's .. and I was feeling pretty good.

 

UNTIL ... I realized it was just day 4 of week 1.   Week 1.  Surely.  Surely.  Somehow the last 4 days have multiplied and crossed many, many more off my list.  I have done pretty good for FOUR days.  There are 174 MORE of those this school year.  THAT drove me to come home, take a nap, and eat chips and salsa while I contemplated how in the world I was gonna make it 174 more days.

 

Ever feel that way?  I am a great starter and a poor finisher.  I know this about myself.  I get gung ho and I am all in ... for a few days ... until it gets hard.

 

Cause I've learned about myself ... I don't like hard.  I put off hard stuff (and then usually it wasn't nearly as hard as I had thought) ... I quit hard stuff.  I find an "easier" way out.  I do.  I know it.  Take running for example ... it's a whole lot easier for me to be a bad runner for a long distance that for me to push myself to improve.  This go round I am determined to not only RUN the WHOLE 13.1 miles ... but to do so at a more respectable speed ... so I've been training faster than I usually run.  It's tough.  And I feel good about doing it for a whole 5 days ... but I wonder how long I will keep pushing myself??

 

Cause before long (4 days to be precise) ... it gets overwhelming.  And I just wanna quit.  And let me tell you, I tend to be a whole sale quitter like I am a whole sale joiner! :-) 

 

I had a friend tell me one time that if you think about doing something, anything, every day for the rest of your life, well of course you can't do it.  Even thinking about something as mundane as brushing your teeth every day for the rest of your life.  Well, that's a lot of toothpaste.  But when you are faithful each day to what you have in front of you, you can do it.  If I think of the next 174 days, I just want a long, long nap.  If I even think of the rest of this semester, I think I might die, or never see ANYONE who does not work in building 15 at Bryant HS.  But if I consider what I am called to do tomorrow ... and just tomorrow, I can do it (with a nap and some salsa).Praying God will help me be wise as I make the most of each day and that I will be able to help my students learn to run this race one day at a time as well!  Maybe, just maybe, I won't be such a quitter!  :-)