starting over

Someone once told me that it is harder to stay where you are than to move on.  And while sometimes I suppose that may be true.  But sometimes, walking away from all you have known and a lot that you have loved takes all the strength you can muster.

I am realizing in my new life here a few things:
1. I feel like I am on vacation and will go back to my cute little house in Winder one day.  This makes no sense since everything I own is now here and someone else lives in that cute little house ... but still.  When I see people here, I feel like I am visiting.  And I keep thinking in terms of "going home."

2. We never outgrow the desire to be "liked" ... I am meeting new colleagues and thinking about the new school year and still have this inordinate need to be "the cool one" ... cause Lord knows, I won't be the young one anymore.

3. You can go home.  There is a deep peace in being here (I know, that doesn't seem to go with #1), but in some ways it feels like I never left here.  For that I am very thankful.

4. I am ready for a new normal ... a new routine where I eat healthy and become a GOOD runner (thanks Olympics for that motivation), where I read and think, where I create and invest in people.  I am anxious to know what my "ministry" will be and dreaming of being in a good, good place ... I think scripture calls it a "spacious" place! :)

5. This summer has been a huge blessing.  It's been somewhat of a sabbatical in many ways ... yes, it has involved a huge life change, job change, lots of uncertainty, some sadness, and unpacking.  But it's also been a huge gift.  It's been the most time I've had since college to just be.  I've made a trip to CO and back to GA, unpacked and remodeled a house and started to prepare for a new job ... but in that, I have just been.  I've read for fun, slept late, cooked, seen friends, been lazy, wasted time and gotten to a place where I feel human again.

I am excited about this "do over" ... thankful for the past season of my life ... wouldn't trade it for the world.  But excited about what is ahead.  And, new sharpie pens. :-)