I love running. I hate running.

Ok, so really, I hate running.  It's hard.  It hurts.  It pushes me.  I don't like hard stuff.

Yet, somehow, I keep signing up for races that keep forcing me out on the pavement.  And keep me lining up in the wee hours of the morning in corrals of 1000s of strangers.  And this time, THIS was the temperature as all of those festivities began.

Somewhere along the 13.1 miles last Sunday, there was a sign that said "You paid money for this?" and at that point that was what I was thinking.  But you know, the fact that I had paid money for that race and there was a "prize" at the end was what got me out there in 22 degree weather at 6 am on a weekend. 

So, why do I do it?  I really don't know.  That's the crazy part.  It's not because I love it ... or get that elusive "runner's high" ... yeh, I think ONE day, maybe I had that. 

I think I thought it would be easy.  And free.  No gym fees.  No class schedule.  No videos. Just me and a pair of running shoes.   In the spring and the fall, who doesn't want to get outside?   And, I think I know myself enough to know that if I have a goal, I am much more likely to do it.  So, when I sign up for a race ... I will make myself get out there and do it.  At least most of the time. 

Unfortunately, most of my motivation is around finishing a race, not getting better or faster.  Yeh, I start out wanting to get better or faster, but then it gets cold, or work gets crazy, or I get hurt ... and then I find myself just wanting to get 'er done. 

But, in the end, there is something fulfilling about knowing I did it.  Something fulfilling and somewhat painful.   Somewhere along the route there was another sign held by another family or friend of someone out there on the course that said, "If it were easy, I'd do it" ... and I remembered, yeh, this is kind of a big deal.  :-)  Because when there are 8000 people lined up at the start, you wonder what's so amazing about going 13.1 miles (or 26.2 - yikes!!)

My favorite parts of the day:
1. People who will stand in 22 degree weather to cheer on someone who matters in their life ... and cheer, not only for them, but for everyone who crosses their path.  Reminds me so beautifully of these verses in Hebrews 12:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

2. I noticed as we ran through streets that had been blocked off from traffic how many churches we passed and I wondered what they were forced to do on that Sunday morning where they had been displaced by a race.  And the beautiful thing was how many had brought out their praise band, packed in their people, and set up their own water or encouragement stop!  They had to come pretty early to beat the barricades.  And they did.  The church being who she was intended to be! :-)

3. The first 8-10 miles are good.  Not easy, but good.  The last 3 were sheer determination.  How many parts of life are like that.  And when it gets hard, we've got to find the determination to make it to the end ... in relationships, in jobs, in trials ... I've been reading in Exodus about the Israelites' journey out of Egypt and toward the Promised Land.  That first day or two ... bliss, the next few, still an adventure, the other 40 years ... sheer determination to keep going. 

4. At mile 11, there was a cop in the road, keeping traffic moving only when it was safe.  He stood stoically, not a smile on his face ... but a bag of peppermints at his feet, and a piece in each hand for runners as they came by.  Someone doing what they could where they were with what they had.

5. The finish and the medal.  So often, the joke is, I did it for the t-shirt, but you get the t-shirt when you sign up for the race.  I MIGHT have gotten a few t-shirts, but never followed through to run the race (cold, rainy, tired ...).  To get the prize, you had to run this race ... well, finish.  And finishers were young and old, trained and amateur, runners and walkers, rich and not so rich, from all over the US ... all in one big pile of people getting to this line.  I didn't set a new PR out there.  All of my 1/2 times are within 2 minutes of each other ... guess I am consistent.  But, I ran and I walked and I ran some more ... and I finished.

Today's supposed to be pretty.  Sounds like a good day for a run.