prayerless.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how little we pray.  we pray before meals.  we pray before meetings.  we pray to dismiss (cause how else do the Baptists know to leave).  we say we are praying for friends, for needs.  often we do.  I have a prayer list, a prayer journal.  but man, really, when we get right down to it, we are prayerless.

over the last few weeks as we've set out to reshape who we are at BCM, we've asked lots of questions, we've gotten pages of input, we've had hours of conversation ... and we've spent minutes praying.  i had a conversation with a guy last week who would like to step up and be a prayer coordinator for BCM.  he was headed to the prayer room that afternoon to pray.  i asked him as he went if he would pray for others to stand in the gap with him to pray about what God has for BCM.  i asked him if he'd be willing to challenge others to pray alongside him.  i've been convicted.  i've been frustrated.  we've spent sooooo much time talking about structure and so little time talking TO God.  I don't want to be part of something that we plan and ask God to bless (or save).  I want to be part of something that only God can do ... something worth telling stories about.

this morning in church, we were celebrating six months of imagining .. imagining what God can do at River Hills.  we had a panel (that I was part of) that shared what they can see God do in our church, community, and world.  we unveiled three new things, and we celebrated how the church has grown, given, and who we are.  and at the end we were challenged to give and to go.  and my heart sank.  cause what I envision is bigger than what I can do.  it's bigger than what we can do.  it's something only God can do through us.  I feel like so often we are called to give it our all ... and again, ask God to bless it.  I'm tired of living on that plane.  I am ready to ask God what He is doing and to give THAT my all.  I turned to Laura (maybe we shouldn't sit next to each other) and said, "It bothers me that we are giving and going without praying ..." 

maybe it's supposed to be the understood.  but I think in both cases we are kind of in a "stuck" point because we are doing more giving and going ... and burning out from operating in our own strength ... to the exclusion of praying.

I'll confess I am part of the problem.  I waste more time on the computer each day than I spend in prayer.  But I am going to work on that.  I'm going to start a media fast each morning so that from the time I get up to the time I leave the house I don't jump on facebook for a sec ten minutes.  I don't have the TV as background noise.  I don't read and respond to emails ... or blogs.  I am going to make my mornings a more purposeful time of study, worship, and PRAYER.  I'm tired of being prayerless.  what about you?