I am learning that I am horrible at asking for help. I actually tried to figure out how I could conceivably load the uhaul by myself last weekend before sheepishly asking Kristen and Matt to help.
I am learning that I am a horrible finisher. I am really good for about ... hmmmm ... 2 weeks. Yep, that means I don't develop many new habits since that requires at least 6!
I tend to overwhelm myself with too many "goals" and things I should be doing every day. And then, I do none of them. That is my consistent response to being overwhelmed - doing nothing!
I HATE to make phone calls. I think I already knew that!
I am paralyzed by things that are unknown. I cannot tell you how many days I put off calling to set up my electricity in Augusta cause I wasn't sure what to do. I know, I am how old? right?!
I am a
I am lazy. I mean, I would be content with a blanket and a movie or book for ... hmmmmm ... maybe 2 weeks!
I am a perfectionist ... until I'm not. There are tons of things I just can't do that well, so I just get close. Don't look for many straight lines at my house! You won't find 'em!
I am a homebody ... and recharge well in that venue.
I expect people to do the right thing and when they don't, it really bothers me ... sometimes, too much. That can be anything from checking out in the line for the proper number of items in your cart ... ahem, family in Wal-Mart with 10+ bags in the speedy checkout ...
And I while I don't intend to get off course ... I find myself drifting at a pretty good pace through the year. I don't know about you, but I start January with the best of intentions. Eat right. Exercise. New calendar. New Goals. Quiet time every day. Writing. Reading (not just for kicks!). Organization. Yeh ... overwhelming myself already. And I do well with about 4 or 5 of those for several months ... the others just are too much. But as time goes on, I start to drift an inch or two off from my goal. I eat healthy during the week, but not on the weekend, I have a quiet time MOST days, I exercise at least ONCE a week ... and then when December rolls around I can't even see where I started in January because I'm not merely an inch off base, I'm about 2 blocks away!
Andy Stanley talks about this in The Best Question Ever. That's one of the reasons he says it's important for us to set boundaries a distance away from sin ... because we seldom wake up one morning having decided that we'll jump into a sinful habit that day. Instead, we find ourselves drifting there one UNWISE (not necessarily immoral or sinful) decision at a time. We decide to go to lunch with a married coworker of the opposite sex, we start watching a TV series that probably isn't so great, we hang out with someone new who doesn't share our values ... nothing wrong in and of itself ... but a force that moves us closer to sin.
I remember being at the lake with Gavin, Wendy and Patrick one summer. Wendy and I got out of the boat and onto our rafts to read while the boy stayed on the boat. We carefully hung on to each others' rafts and to the rope the boys threw us from the boat. But we were enjoying the sun, chatting with each other, reading our books ... not noticing that the boys had untied our rope and were have a grand time (and by that I mean, laughing hysterically ... when they weren't taunting us!!) watching us float out further and further from the boat ... so far, that in fact, they had to start the boat up to come get us because we'd drifted so far in less than an hour.
My intent is that I will stay tethered to Christ this year ... I won't be perfect in keeping my goals. But I won't let myself drift far without a course redirection. If I miss a run one day, then I'll get back out there the next ... same with the quiet time, community, etc.
I would like to join Paul in proclaiming ...
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Peter 4:7)
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