in need of grace.

It's been a week.

It's had disappointment and frustration.  It's brought hurt and confusion.  It came with an unexpected surgery for Gavin ... that I didn't get to be there for (even though I couldn't have done anything ... but just be there!)  It's been busy.  It's brought deadlines.  It's brought unexpected complications and unexpected blessings.

And last night as I sat at karaoke with my BCMers ... not exactly where I wanted to spend my evening, I found myself getting more and more frustrated with a student who STILL didn't have all of his paperwork in for the mission trip.  Paperwork that was due yesterday.  And as he said "You didn't give me the application" I thought in my snarkiest voice, "No.  And I didn't fill it out for you either."

Maybe this is what it feels like to be a mom and if it is ... then you guys are even MORE my heroes. 

Somehow I've felt like EVERYONE was demanding something of me and no one was giving anything to me, especially not a break. 

Back to my student.  He had paid in cash for his mission trip deposit saying, "I couldn't get $150 out of the ATM so I brought you $160."  That's fine, I commented, writing him a receipt for the $160 and leaving his balance less the 10 extra dollars.

Last night he sat across the table from me ... informing me I didn't give him the application (even though three hours ago he had claimed it was in his car).  THEN, he said, can you give me the extra $10 I gave you today?  I didn't get cash for dinner.

Really?  Really????  REALLY!! 

Ok ... I know, that's really not a big deal.  But it was the last frustration in a tough week.  I ended up just buying his dinner ... I mean, not sure what my choice was ...

And I thought to myself as I got home.  I just wish people could follow instructions and do the right thing.  I am not sure why everyone thinks they are the exception to whatever is expected.  And then I knew I was no different (albeit a rules follower to a fault!!)

And then I wondered why I do not have more grace. 

This week, grace was all I desired in my own life.  But I was deficient in serving it up to others.

Who am I to think that I am the only one at the end of my rope.  Aren't we all in need of grace? Isn't that why we need a Savior??

I've been reading Mark Batterson's Primal which basically looks at what it means to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.  In the first section, Mark contended that if we love God with all our heart, we will have his heart and it will be demonstrated in our life in the form of compassion.

As we grow in our love relationship with God, we begin to empathize with God. We feel what He feels. Then we begin to sympathize wtih others. We experience sympathy breakthroughs as we see the image of God in others. And when those empathetic feelings turn into compassionate actions, they set off chain reactions with eternal ramifications. - Mark Batterson

God, help me to see your image in others.  Help me to always find compassion for the people you put in my life.  Change my heart to beat with yours.  And thank you that it is FRIDAY!!