Ash Wednesday ... and a different twist on lent.

Wow.  It's been a while.  Like a long, forever kind of while.  Like, who knew I still had a blog kind of while ...

I'm nothing if not inconsistent ... and it's probably good that I really only write for myself, because by now, I'm sure that the six who read my posts have long since given it up! :-)

I've thought a lot lately about the need to write ... it's really now I process, but so far, I've not done too much of it.  I'm not much for the bandwagons ... MWM, TBT, 5 for Friday, 10 for Tuesday ... it kind of makes my head hurt to think of doing something all the time.

Then again, that's why I stink at self-discipline.  And that's why I start again EVERY Monday vowing to eat healthy, drink more water, and run.  And I wonder by Wednesday how much longer I need to do that.

But that aside, I'm back, for a while.  If we track back to the self-discipline thing, we see why.

Growing up Baptist, lent is a relatively new concept for me.  Really, it wasn't until the last ten years that I've really considered its significance in the Christian calendar ... and then there was that year I gave up sweets for lent ... without considering that I'd take 100 people on a mission trip in that time ... with NO chocolate.  NO bueno.

And seeing that today is Ash Wednesday or the day set aside to repent and refocus in preparation for the forty days of Lent.  I'm going to do just that ... in my own way.  Lent is a time of fasting repentance, moderation, and self-discipline for the purpose of reflecting on Christ.  So, how can I really do THAT best (not just find something to give up!)

I've learned that there are times in life when we need to STOP doing some things and times in life when we need to START.  I'm pretty big on the starting ... pretty bad at the finishing.  Traditionally, Ash Wednesday is the ceasing of the Mardi Gras parties and the start of a forty day fast.  So, it's really built around STOPPING.

This year, I am going to choose to observe Lent a bit differently.

This quote really struck me this week ... and since we had a couple of icy days, I actually took time to draw it into my journal ...

THIS is where I am going to hang out this Lent.  I'm going to bring my heart back to the idea that GOD IS ENOUGH.

The past couple of years have been full of fear for me in ways I've never experienced, not really because of anything that has happened, other than feeling like things are out of my control - I own a house whose value dropped (by a lot) .. and I own it but live in another state, I have renters that some days in my panic are probably destroying my house as we speak, I took a HUGE salary cut to take the job I have now, I am still 44 and single (seriously!!), what if, what if, what if ... forgetting, much like the Israelites, the manna God provided just today.

So, for the next 40 days, I am going to be intentional about seeing God.  Seeing God as enough.  Seeing God as provider.  Seeing God as kind.  Seeing God as remembering me.  And for the next 40 days, I'm going to come back here to ponder what He's showing me, teaching me, reminding me ...

Giving up something?  I pray I'm giving up worry, doubt, fear ... but mostly, I am remembering ... not just His sacrifice on the cross, but His presence EVERY day in my life.

I'm also going to be reading Angie Smith's book, What Women Fear if you (all two of you) want to read along.