Two things.

"One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God are strong and that you, O Lord are loving."  (Ps. 62:11-12)

I know I probably obsess about not being able to sell my GA house and the fears that brings, almost as much as I complain about not loving running.  Both are recurring, daily themes in my life.

This month, the renters' check bounced (and eventually cleared), the oven broke (but it was just a $120 repair), the realtor told me that houses were not appraising for what I'd need to sell it for (and that's with losing my equity AND throwing about $10K into it), so that means another year of renting (and I have nightmares of what it looks like inside = probably hopefully unfounded).

I grew up thinking that owning a house was the grown up, responsible thing to do.  It's an investment, they said.  Well, that was until the economy tanked ... FOREVER ago! I have NO financial wisdom other than saving more than you spend and living in your means.  So far, those have served me well.  Again, until now.  So, now, there's this big black hole of fear in my heart about this house.  It's completely out of my control ... and seemingly unfair that I've paid the mortgage every month and it's lost its value because of people who didn't. :-(

It scares me to death, even though, more than likely, it will all work out fine in the end.  My fears are all the "what ifs" and "this is NOT my plan" kind of thing.  I THOUGHT I had trusted God with major decisions before, but I'm here to tell you, this has been the biggest lesson maker. ever.  for me.  I've prayed for a miracle.  I've prayed circles around it.  And still, here we sit ... me, the house I adore, and the 600 miles between us.

I'm incredibly thankful that I've had a very inexpensive place to live in the meantime and I've loved working on Memama and Granddad's house and restarting my AR life there in a place I know and love so well.  It truly is God's amazing provision!  I have a property manager who has dealt with my house issues in GA and in reality, it's probably cost me $1000/year to have renters, as opposed to the $12K/year it would cost to NOT have renters.  Will I have to do some work/repair to put it on the market, undoubtedly.  Was this my plan?  Absolutely not.  Have I struggled with jealousy over those who list their house and it sells for asking price in less than a week.  YES!!!

BUT ...

Even if it takes daily reminding, these two things I have heard over and over.

You, O God are strong.  The economy, my house, my savings, my life is in your hands!!

You, O Lord are loving.  You are not out to destroy me, to leave me alone or destitute.  You have known and provided far before I was even aware of this course.

So, when I am afraid, yes, I will trust, that you are strong and that you are loving and that that is enough!