God's will. The answer.

"When you are rightly related to God, it is a life of freedom and liberty and delight, you are God’s will, and all your common-sense decisions are His will for you unless He checks. You decide things in perfect, delightful friendship with God, knowing that if your decisions are wrong He will always check; when He checks, stop at once." ~ Oswald Chambers

This.

My biggest question in my college years revolved around how to know if something was God's will or just my desire.  It was a constant battle, because somehow, somewhere, I had convinced myself that nothing I wanted would be God's will.  Only the hard, somewhat out of our comfort zone, marginally undesirable ... even unwanted could/would be God's will.

It didn't take me too long to discover that this was wrong ... yet, I've seen it asked a million times over, especially when talking to students.  I guess that's the time when we are figuring this out.

I worked with a youth minister who used Psalm 37 to remind me that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, then, He will give us the desires of our heart.  So, the question is not really "Is this God's will?"  But "Am I delighting in, rightly related to, seeking to follow, albeit not even perfectly, God"  I understand now, that God's will looks like a million things that we like and desire.  And that, if we are rightly related to Him, His desires really have already become out desires ... and the line between them is no longer seen.

Does that mean anything I want is God's will.  Well, no.  I know holding a grudge or withholding forgiveness is NOT God's will, no matter how appealing it might seem to me at the time.  I know being ugly is NOT God's will, even when it seems justified.  I know neglecting people is NOT God's will (even to the end of doing something "good").  I know, my being lazy is NOT God's will ... you get it.

But, which job, which move, which mission trip, which ministry, which church ... even which date or which friendship or which house.  It's really not that hard.  God's so much bigger than our finite little minds ... He is perfectly capable of blessing and using any myriad of options.

For an indecisive person like me, it's easier sometimes to just let God have one option, send me the email and be done.  Then I can blame the outcome on Him ... but that's not the way He works.  He has given us choice ... even the choice of loving and following Him.  But then, I sit in the aftermath, when things don't turn out to be Plan A ... or even Plan F wondering, did I really hear God?  Did I make the right choice?  Did I do His will??  News flash ... God's will is NOT immune to hard times, even tragedy or heartbreak.  The marriage that was God's will, can still end in death or divorce, the child that was God's will can still end in heartache and the move that was God's will can still be the hardest thing we've ever done (check!!).

He knows me, my strengths and my weaknesses, my passions and my fears.  I used to tell my college students that God was not going to call us to something that made us miserable.  If He called us to live in a mud hut in Africa, it was because He made us to love that.

I'm thankful to serve a God who has not hidden His will like Easter eggs for us to find.  I love that He is big enough to bless and use whatever option most fits us.  I love that we don't mess up all of life by missing a turn.  I love that we are known, cherished, loved, and provided for, long before we ever know we have need.

Jesus KNOWS me, THIS I love.