The trade.

What do you see?

And here?

I've been doing a chronological Bible reading this year ... and I feel quite victorious that I've made it 65 days (according to my handy dandy app!) ... but I have to remind myself, good starter, poor finisher ... so I keep on (a little more humbly!)

I've been reading through the OT and specifically, a lot of the Israelites' wandering in the wilderness ... I feel like I identify with them in so many ways - the waiting, the wandering, the forgetting, the remembering, the complaining.  Just this week, The Israelites said, "And why did you take us out of Egypt in the first place, dragging us into this miserable country?  No grain, no figs, no grapevines, no pomegranates - and now not even any water..." (Num. 20:5).  For the love!  I get why God sent plagues and snakes and such ... I do NOT know how His patience with them was so long!!  I think my students might be taking lessons here: "Homework?  We never do anything fun!  Why can't we go outside?  Is this the only kind of candy you have?  Do we only get one?  This is too hard!"

So, when I think about seeing God during this season of Lent, I am reminded that He's not hidden and He doesn't change.  So, what does?  Well, me, of course ... I take my eyes off of Him, lose my perspective, and start counting what I lack, rather than what I have!

The quickest way for me to become negative is to start rehearsing all the things I do not have.  I think that's why being thankful has become such an integral part of my discipline ... each day, as I sit down to journal prayer requests, I start by listing a few things I can be thankful for that particular day.  I have a rock jar on my table that details ways I've seen God work so that I can remember His goodness.

If He doesn't change, then I have to.

Often, when I think God is not answering, not working, not moving FAST enough ... it's because my view of Him is so limited.  It's a lot like working a jigsaw puzzle blind ... by blind, I mean, without the box ... we piece together an edge or two, but really, all we can see and guess at is what is right in front of our face.  We see our few pieces, while God sees the picture in its entirety.  And, if you're like me, I focus on what's NOT in place rather than what is.

Case in point ... the pictures from above are actually only small cropped parts of the picture below.  The whole perspective changes when you can see the whole frame.  I need to stop making judgments and decisions based on the small piece I hold in my hand, or I will miss the beauty of seeing it all woven together ... in time.

Today, instead of looking at the half-full, wishing for what I don't have, forgetting ALL that God's done, I will change me.  I will recount the provision He's made this week.  I will acknowledge that my being in control isn't necessary when He is.  I will be thankful for all I have.  I will remember.