grace.

GRACE.

Unmerited favor.
Unearned.
Gift.

It's been the word that has circled my week.

It's the quilt that landed at my door yesterday ... with the reminder I needed.
It's the sunshine I ran in today.
It's the marriage of some friends that I see mending.
It's the roof over my head.
It's the floods of provision that I had not even seen.
It's the change of the seasons (in life and in the year).
It's the sweet month old baby whose mama is learning grace to be her mom each day.

I've marveled, this week, at some of the choices my students make.  The thrill me and amaze me ... and dishearten and disappoint me ... all in the same moment, it seems.  I've had some who constantly choose not to do work.  For some of them, it's pretty much the every day choice that culminates in a grade that seems to bother me more than it does them.  For others of them, it's a gamble, "if I don't do this project, I can get my grade up by the end of the 9 weeks ..." I've had several of those lately.  And even a week or two weeks past the deadline, I've looked them in the eyes and made them look at their grade and said "Bring me something Monday ..."

I expect a lot of my students ... and for the most part, they thrill me with what they can do (when they are not on their phones!) ... and when I find grace (some days I'm digging deep) ... I always assume they will rise to the occasion and make the most of the gift.  But what I've discovered is that 8 times out of 10, when I extend grace, I get back something really terrible - not a best effort, not even a good effort, just something to say they did it and then they move on. :-(

 This week, I've realized how much I am like those kids!

God's grace is all over my life.  But I miss the gift He extends so often ... or, like my kids, meet the riches of His grace with the pitiful efforts of my making, not truly appreciating all I have been given.  He offers grace ... and I give Him back my fears (that really say "I'm not sure I can trust you to take care of me!").  He offers grace ... and I give His back my leftovers (time, money, energy).  I say, "I trust you with my eternity, but not so much with my house or my finances, or my loneliness, or my fears ..."

For me, somehow I think that grace offered needs to be "earned" on the back end with some effort or some care ... but is it really grace then?  God's grace is offered new each morning with no hidden strings, no attached memos ... freely given, freely received ... even when all He gets from my hands is a crumbled up scrap of faith. That's part of its beauty, there is no expectation ... just the gift.

... and like a flood, His mercy reigns, unending love, amazing grace.